Never Open Your Mouth While Cutting An Onion - By Staff Member "Silas Merriweather"

The most dreaded task in nearly any kitchen is the cutting of the onion. Oh the tears. Great bucketfuls of them. It was such a guarantee that when I was 16 and Sarah Goldberger wouldn't speak to me I went into the kitchen to chop an onion so I could cry without shame.

It's the sulfur that gets you. When you cut the onion you release sulphur. That gets up into your eyes and mixes with water to become sulfuric acid. Your eyes produce tears to wash away the acid.

Everyone seems to have their own method for avoiding the tears. I was told to never open my mouth while cutting an onion. The movie "Like Water For Chocolate," famously had everyone putting a half a raw onion on their head to stop the tears. Others will tell you to run the onion under water. While this works it also dilutes the flavor of the onion. You could just not use onions but honestly, who wants to live in a world like that?

The simplest, easiest, and most effective solution we have found in the kitchen is the use of a lowly and humble fan. Just set up a fan by your cutting board and the wind carries the sulphur away. It never reaches your eyes. Never becomes sulfuric acid. And you never cry.

Genius, you say. Well yes it is.